When I'm Quiet

 ...that's when the truth emerges

©Tanya Decheva, Costumes, 2015

A while ago, to be precise 5 years ago, a friend of mine asked me if I could photograph the costumes she had made for a theater play. We didn't put the actors in a studio, instead we used the stage and the light provided there. The photos were okay. I'd nearly forgotten about them. One day as I was going through my archive I happened upon them. I noticed the shadows, fading gradually on the ground behind. 

Since I've always been fascinated with details I tried cropping the original images. One definition of detail is "a part of a whole". Sometimes choosing to shoot a detail can bring much more to the final photo. Apart from cropping the photos, I took away their color. You see black and white brings a different, more intense read on the subject.

©Tanya Decheva, Costumes, 2015

People evolve over time, artist evolve over time. As years go by I observed myself changing. Some changes are good, but I found myself for years not being able to come up with new ideas. I was stuck in a state of numbness. I've missed so much my mind going in every direction, the sudden flashes of thought. There were days when I would be thinking about four or five new projects. I couldn't manage to realize them all, so I would write them down in notebooks. I have boxes of notebooks (insert worried laughter here). I didn't know what was happening, maybe it was the daily routine, or the anxiety of not being successful at all, or just my mind being on vacation.

And then something changed a few months ago, I changed. My inspiration came back. Now I'm overflowing with ideas and I think it's time to stop doubting myself and start executing. After years of emotional roller coaster I managed to stop and think about what's been dragging me down. A friend of mine said that right now my head's in the clouds but at the same time I'm really grounded. 

©Tanya Decheva, Costumes, 2015

Being creative is all about your state of mind. One shouldn't ignore what is happening in their head. Embrace it, understand it, find what's driving you...and if you're feeling like something is not right, try and change it. It's not an easy process, it can be painful. I know I'm writing like some fake-ass motivational speaker, but your mental state is something you shouldn't neglect. And if you can't make it on your own, ask for help. People aren't meant to be all alone on their journey. We're social animals...yeah even we - introverts.